By Karrbon Copy
It was hot and humid in Spain. Nothing new, then, eh? The racing was a mix of absolutely glorious battles, and some yawn-inducing bits of circling around…
Moto3:
Almansa started the Catalan leg in his first-ever pole position in Moto3.
After being caught dawdling during Q1, Yamanaka got sent to the back of the grid for his repeat offences.
Rueda started the race with a Long Lap Penalty, and so did Carraro.
Did you see the Japanese honeymooners in the stands? How cute – honeymooning at the MotoGP, it couldn’t be any more perfect than that, could it?
We were spoiled with an epic, very close race throughout the eighteen laps, with a group of twelve (which later became fifteen for a while) toughing it out for the podium positions. They were swapping positions and diving past one another at a rate of knots that not even fighter planes would be able to keep up with.
During the tenth lap, Roulstone suddenly pulled to the inside of Turn Six, his bike having picked up a stray Technical Gremlin.
Jacob parked next to the track, pushing his gloved hands into his eyes in an attempt to hide his obvious tears from the mob of marshals who were descending upon him.
Buchanan allegedly crashed on Lap Eleven. Proof of this was withheld from us. How rude.
As the battling front mob entered Turn One for the twelfth time, Quiles gave himself half a Long Lap Penalty.
Track Limit Warnings were being handed out like gift bags at an Oprah Winfrey show, and it was surprising that not more Long Lap Penalties followed.
At the start of the final lap, these animals tried to enter Turn One about ten abreast – it was glorious! And no, they did not clatter together calamitously. A miracle, we know.
When they passed the checkered flag, it was Piqueras who snatched up first place, with Rueda grabbing second and Furusato third.
Ruche Moodley snapped up nineteenth on the line.
Moto2:
The Middleweight race was chaos from the get-go.
Our first incident happened around four corners into the race when Canet punted Salač wide sending the latter on a gravelly detour back to the raceline.
Canet repeated his offence when he pushed Vietti wide two laps later, and was soon ordered to drop two positions for his transgressions.
Back to the opening lap, also at Turn Four, though a few seconds later, Sasaki dismounted at high speed in order to show off his ability to do a headstand while travelling at break-neck speed. Without actually breaking his neck.
There was many a Mystery Yellow Flag throughout the race. We blame this on the absolutely buggered Timing Tower, and the transponders it relies on. Apart from Vietti going up and down the Timing Tower so aggressively that he suffered second-hand nausea, the whole thing vanished at one stage after throwing a fit.
It was not only annoying, but also totally confusing.
During Lap Nine, Navarro rammed into Salač’s rear with such aggression as they entered Turn One that Salač’s bike filed a restraining order.
While Navarro went flying over the handlebars, Salač was yanked from his seat, his helmet’s visor ripped from his face as riders and bikes tumbled off into the litter.
Salač was loaded onto a stretcher, and carried off to the Medical Centre for a check-up.
At the start of Lap Twelve, Kunii tumbled off at the first corner. it’s possible that his returning teammate, Aji, was also involved. Possibly not. It was hard to tell.
Have you ever seen a tattooed torpedo? Enter the Flying Canet: Aron went shooting off at Turn Seven during the twelfth lap at such speed, his neck tattoo had to hold on for dear life. His motorcycle went cartwheeling across the gravel just a few few feet after that.
He, too, was sent off to the Medical Centre for a check-up.
In the end, Holgado came through for his first-ever Moto2 victory, after starting the race in pole for the first time, and at his home race to boot.
Second place was filled by Dixon, and third place was snapped up by Muñoz, the Super Sub of Super Subs, taking his maiden Moto2 podium.
Darren Binder had a bit of a struggle this weekend, including some massive grid position penalties, and ended up finishing the race in twenty-first.
During the Cooldown Lap, Holgado hopped off his bike, knelt beside it, and gave it an affectionate helmet-kiss low on its flank.
MotoGP:
Sprint Race:
The Sprint Race started off with some wicked ‘rubbing is racing’ style action between Márquez (Marc) and Quartararo – wirh a handful of other riders butting in along the way.
It inly took until Lap Seven for the first big crash to occur:
Morbidelli, going through Turn Ten, suddenly felt the wheels beneath him vanish, sending him clattering into the side of the rider on his outside. that rider happened to be Martín. Once both riders and their bikes came to a standstill in the depths of the gravel pit, Martín stormed off with a thundercloud scrambling to keep up.
Just one lap later, and five turns earlier, Aldeguer toppled over on the inside of Bezzecchi, slamming into the side of the Italian with great force and sending them both sprawling in the dust. Bezzecchi’s left leg (and, probably, arm) got clamped in a two-bike sandwich along the way.
At some point, Savadori retired from the race, signalling the complete annihilation of factory Aprilias on the track.
With less than four full laps to go, Márquez Junior was leading the race with such a comfortable gap, he could’ve pitted for a spot of tea and still won.
Until turn ten that is. Turn Ten switched on its moto-magnet again. One moment Álex was leaning through the bend, the next he was spitting out bits of gravel on the outside of the track, his Ducati dozing off nearby in the balmy Spanish sunshine.
Having got to his feet, the younger Márquez stomped off, clearly peeved at his own stupidity, giving himself a concussion as he pummelled his helmet.
The rest of the race was highlighted by a spirited, entertaining three-way battle between three KTMs to see who would end up taking fourth.
It culminated in a magnificent photo-finish, the three orange machines lining up across the finish line for what would make a brilliant campaign photo.
Acosta was the eventual winner of the battle; Binder ended up sixth.
Oh, and as for the race, Márquez Senior claimed the victory his little brother so stupidly served him on a silver platter. Quartararo clung to second, while Di Giannantonio snatched up third.
With far too many races still to come, Ducati was already crowned the Constructors Champions for 2025. Congratulations, and all that, they are a force to be reckoned with.
Main Race:
Pasini, in a pre-race interview (we paraphrase somewhat here): ‘…I told him he can be angry for five minutes… then must focus on Sunday…’ In regards to Álex Márquez’s calamitous crash out of the Sprint Race lead.
Morbidelli had to serve one Long Lap Penalty for punting Martin in the Sprint, while Aldeguer had a Long Lap Penalty for a similar offence.
Fun fact: Acosta was the only rider who gambled hard, and chose to race the full-length event on a soft rear tyre instead of the medium. It did not go as badly as expected, though it did not go blindingly exceptionaly, either.
During the second lap, an incorrect crash-graphic gave an entire grand stand of fans severe heart-failure when it showed Marc Márquez as one of the fallen riders. Spoiler alert: Marc had not, in fact, crashed at all.
What really happened was this: While going around Turn One, Bezzecchi was on Morbidelli’s inside when the two made contact. This sent Bez on a one-way trip off the track, and in the process of trying to avoid the horizontal motorcycle which had materialised from within the pack, Di Giannantonio ended up joining him.
Sevens were not lucky at all for Binder on Sunday, seeing as he went tumbling with his feet up in the air and his mouth in the dirt on Lap Seven, at the seventh corner.
Zarco went skidding off at Turn Ten, all on his ownsome, during Lap Eleven. Once on his feet again, Johann scolded himself in exasperation.
On the fifteenth lap, Rins felt an overwhelming need for a nap, and sent his bike into the air fence at Turn Twelve before hopping onto said fence for a quick snooze.
Savadori’s bike was seen being dragged out of the gravel on Lap Twenty-One.
A dazed Morbidelli knelt beside his stricken ride on the same lap, in the gravel of Turn Ten. He’d piled off the track so rapidly that he didn’t know where he was for a while.
Once the Ducati was back on its wheels, Frankie leaned over the seat, until the marshals told him he’d better get his arse away from the now-smoking machine.
After a clean, slightly more aggressive than we’re used to seeing from him, overtake on his big brother, Álex Márquez won the race.
Marc Márquez happily took his second place, and Bastianini snatched up his first podium in KTM colours by taking third.
Trackside, during the Cooldown Lap, Álex was hopping about like an Energiser bunny, celebrating his win like he’d won the whole Championship.
The Márquez brothers jumped on the air fence, danced together in front of an elated fan-crowd, and snuggled for a minute before climbing down again. Brotherly love, aww!
With the season rapidly descending towards the end, and Championships getting closer and closer to being decided, the excitement and drama could only get more intense from here.
We hope.
~ Karr
