So much action, so little time…
Welcome to the horsepower rodeo!
By the Karr report
Moto3:
A few riders started the race with penalties already to their names. Morelli had a Long Lap Penalty, while Rios and Uriarte – the Marcos flavoured one – each had to serve Double Long Lappers.
The first few laps went by incident-free. It was uncanny.
On Lap Five, Pratama approached Turn Eleven the same way he always did, when his bike went feral. Wiggle-wiggle-UP-and-over the handlebars went Veda.
Directly behind Pratama, Esteban ran into the rolling speed hump that was Pratama’s motorcycle.
The two bikes skidded off together to go and frolic in the grass, while their riders came to a stop on the less pleasant hard run-off. Of the two, Esteban was the most rapid to his feet, sprinting off to his bike, which he remounted, only to retire a few laps later.
Rammerstorfer suffered a gentle offing on Lap Seven, but rejoined so fast they couldn’t even fit in a replay.
By the ninth lap, Kelso went down as well. He’d hoped to shake ‘n’ bake this race; instead, the race shook ‘n’ cooked him.
Three laps from the finish line, O’Gorman had a mysterious crash.
The closing lap of the race saw an epic four-rider battle for the top spot. We give that a ten out of ten, as far as battles are concerned.
It all culminated in a chaotic moment in which Perrone went from victory hopeful to carpark tourist in milliseconds.
Pini emerged the victor, his maiden Moto3 win, while Quiles snuck into second, and Carpe held on to third.
Our Moodley finished just shy of earning a Championship point, in sixteenth.
After his cooldown lap (which clearly did not cool down anything) Perrone skulked into his pit box, plonked down on his chair, and sulked into his helmet for missing out on the podium entirely.
As we logged out of Moto3, Cruces was under investigation for an ‘unsafe maneuvre’ on Uriarte – the Brian version this time.
Moto2:
From pole to seventeenth: Alonso was caught with poorly filled rubber during Q2, and subsequently had his whole Q2 record deleted.
Courtesy of a new rule which made it illegal to attempt to restart your bike trackside, Piqueras found himself a Double Long Lap Penalty richer for the race.
Amidst the Turn One mayhem as the race commenced, Holgado tripped over Roberts’ rear wheel, sending both riders flailing off the track. Holgado executed a ninja-level tumble back onto his feet, but that did not save him from the Long Lap Penalty he would later receive for causing a crash.
Roberts, meanwhile, caught a moto-taxi back to the pits.
It wasn’t long after the Holgado-Roberts incident that all hell broke loose at Turn Eleven.
As the closely-knit pack entered the corner on Lap One, a bike-shaped Kamikaze pilot came shooting down the inside at a speed that made every spectator’s stomach knot up like a pretzel.
We would later confirm this to have been Ferrandez.
The bike-missile ploughed into, and then through the group of motorcycles that was curling around the turn, sending riders and bikes flying in every direction. Much speculation happened, the prevalent theory being that Ferrandez had suffered some kind of brake failure. Miraculously, not one of the victims was severely injured.
Veijer remounted and returned to the pits;
Salac remounted painfully, and returned to the pits;
Alonso, Munoz, and likely Garcia, too, all remounted and returned to their respective pit boxes;
Ferrandez got a thorough trackside check-up and talking-to, and was later carted off to the Medical Centre for a quick check-up.
Piqueras, having been hit the hardest, was also given a thorough trackside check-up, before being sent to the Medical Centre to check on his leg.
Unsurprisingly, this resulted in the Red Flags being waved, and the race was stopped for some time while the marshals cleaned up, the medical staff doctored, and the Safety Car checked for hazards on-track.
The initial restart was delayed again as they waited for the medical team to return to their posts.
We did eventually have a Quick Restart, and since the race had stopped before it could even properly begin, the grid would be the same as the original, safe for one or two vacant slots. The new race distance would be ten laps.
Moments before leaving their garages for the Sighting Lap 2.0, Munoz and Baltus were each handed a Long Lap Penalty for an ‘Unsafe change in direction’ off the start.
Oncu had an oopsie on the Sighting Lap, his bike lying on the tarmac while Oncu lifted his arms to the sky. Luckily for Oncu, the damage was minimal, and he made it to the grid in time for the Warm-Up Lap.
Just before the Warm-Up Lap commenced, Salac’s bike was wheeled off the grid. Some speculated that he was in too much pain, but they would end up being wrong. It had been a rear-wheel issue. One they fixed fast enough for Salac to take the start – even though he had to take it from pit lane.
Four laps into the new race, Veijer toppled over at Turn Seven. Shortly after, Navarro copied him somewhere along the circuit.
Sasaki was handed a Long Lap Penalty for an (unseen by us) unsafe rejoin.
In the first half of the penultimate lap, we lost Aji.
Agius emerged victorious, with Vietti taking second, and Guevara third.
MotoGP:
Saturday Sprint Race:
A few riders started the Sprint in positions they did not qualify in, after some received position-penalties for holding up traffic (we’re looking at you, Bezzecchi, Marini).
We can all agree that Turn Twelve at COTA is more of an abrupt change of direction than a corner, right?
Going into Turn Twelve for the first time, Marquez (that Marc one) dove down the inside of Di Giannantonio with the assumption that gravity would ignore his mismatched lean-angle and speed. Alas, gravity did notice, and just as Marc thought he was past DiGi, his Ducati’s wheels slipped away, sending him across the track, and straight into DiGi’s front wheel. This resulted in the latter catching the minutest amount of air before he joined Marc for the slide.
Both riders managed to remount, but their race was essentially fudged. DiGi ended up retiring at the end of the sixth lap, while Marc finished the race a lap later than everyone else.
Fans were in an uproar, calling for a penalty, which Marc did later receive: A single Long Lap Penalty. Some argued this was too mild. We refrain from partaking in this debate.
In the midst of battling through Lap Six, Razegattlingglue’s Yamaha unexpectedly stopped working, forcing the rookie to put up his hand and GTFO of the riders around him’s way.
Does it feel wrong to call Toprak a rookie? Yes, yes it does. But, technically, he is.
But wait, there’s more!
During Lap Three, Bezzecchi went skidding off at Turn Eleven, his bike dumping him on the hard shoulder, leaving Bez to writhe in (emotional) agony on the tarmac.
Dipping into Turn One for the penultimate time, Rins found himself heading not for the corner exit, but for the side of the track. He quickly hopped back onto his machine, and finished the race.
At the start of the final lap, Mir followed Rins’ example, crashing and remounting at Turn One in much the same way. Copycat.
While all the drama was happening to other riders, Bagnaia and Martin were leading the race, Martin snapping at Bagnaia’s boot-heels until, on the final lap, mere corners away from the finish line, he managed to launch a successful overtaking attack on Pecco.
In claiming the Sprint victory – his first race win in AGES – Martin took the lead in the Championship, albeit by just one point. He did a shy wheelie across the finish line in celebration. That was not his last celebratory wheelie, but we’ll get to that in a moment.
Bagnaia had to settle for a close second, while Acosta crossed the line in third.
Binder managed to get up to twelfth.
Soon after the race ended, it was announced that Acosta was under investigation for improper tyre pressure. And though he went through all the celebrations, right up to the podium and everything, Acosta was later found guilty, and punted out of third place by means of an eight-second penalty. This left him in ninth overall, and promoted Bastianini up into third.
Now, back to the over-excited Martin celebrations.
Once he’d crossed the line, Martin screamed so loud that his bike’s screen shattered. Some would say it was his fist hitting it that did it, but we theorise otherwise.
Then, he did a proper stand-up wheelie. A very standard celebration, except for the part where he crashed as he put down the front wheel. Physically unscathed, Martin grabbed his helmeted head in a way that said: ‘Oh crap, I’m an idiot! How embarrassing! Is my bike broken? How’d I do that?’ We’re certain he was laughing at his own dumbness, feeling stupid.
He was quickly picked up by a taxi that, for some reason, stated that it was a ‘Medical Car’ – we want to see this vehicle perform CPR.
In the post-race inteviews, a grinning Bagnaia started off his speech with a phrase that will likely live on the internet for the rest of eternity: ‘F#cking bastard Jorge!’
We loved it. Pecco said a swear word. It was gold.
Main Race:
Part of the pre-race celebrations was Nicky Hayden’s Honda and helmet from twenty years ago, when he claimed his World Champion status.
Another part of the celebrations was a group of cheerleaders performing with excellent precision. No big tosses happened, which made us a little sad.
MotoGP: umbrella girls bad; cheerleaders good! We question this logic.
Marc Marquez received a Long Lap Penalty early in the race.
At Turn Eleven on Lap One, Acosta was on the outside curb, while Bezzecchi was on the inside coming out… what this meant was that the duo was on a collision course, Bezzecchi’s rear making contact with Acosta’s front, scattering bits of aero all over the track. DO not ask us how both remained upright and continued racing like this never happened. We don’t know either.
Zarco crashed on the second lap. Mir was caught cutting corners a little later, and was told to visit the Long Lap Loop once.
By Lap Four, Bezzecchi surpassed Jorge Lorenzo’s long-standing record of most consecutive laps led in MotoGP. Lorenzo had managed 103. Bezzechi was now on 104, and counting.
Mir went down hard during the sixth lap, before he’d even had time to complete his Long Lap.
At the start of the seventh lap, Martin had a little wake-me-up moment entering Turn One when the front-end of his Aprilia gave way, making him kiss the left handlebar while soiling his leathers. He saved it, though.
Ogura was rocketing up the standings, until Lap Fifteen. One moment he was speeding past other riders, the next he was coasting next to the track with his hand up, and his eyes on the right handlebar. A clip from his onboard camera revealed the most terrifying grinding moans being emitted by his gearbox.
Keeping his streak alive, Bezzecchi claimed victory, with Martin in an impressive second place, and Acosta completing his one-hundredth Grand Prix in third.
Binder finished exactly where he’d finished on Saturday: Twelfth.
Upon finishing the race, Bezzecchi’s new record of most consecutive laps led in a MotoGP race tallied 121. Not only was he now the holder of said record, but he was also the first modern-era rider to win five main races on the trot while leading every single lap of every one of those five races.
Baggers:
Though we lost the Rapid Toasters at the end of 2025, we have gained something else: Bagger races!
The inaugural season saw nine riders enrolled in the fun, and we all hope this number would grow.
All the motorcycles – Harley Davidsons – were basically identical, making it a level playing field. They also don’t have all the super-complex electronics of the MotoGP machines, which promised more entertaining racing.
Race One:
Not all of the riders were unfamiliar, with a handful of ex-MotoE names popping up on the grid.
Just as the riders pulled away to start the Warm Up Lap, Pratama (not the one from Moto3, this is a different one) and his bike was swiftly pushed off the grid.
At first, it was speculated that he might’ve stalled on the grid, but it was soon noted that he was pulled off to fix his tyre pressures before he could continue.
Tyres inflated adequately, Pratama did join the Warm Up, but had to complete a Double Long Lap Penalty to atone for his pressure sins.
While leading the race, McDonald’s bike grew concerned that its rider was dozing off, and promptly shook him awake with a fair-sized wobble. We can assure you, McDonald was wide awake after that.
(Is he the heir to a fast-food empire, or a farm with a shitload of animals? We’re just curious.)
Granado, in the fight for the top positions, overleaned into Turn One on the second-last lap. This resulted in a skidding rider, and a bouncing – yes, BOUNCING – horizontal Harley Davidson.
He managed to remount, and finished the race.
On the final lap, Pratama’s bike got spooked when it clipped the curb, tossed off its rider, and slid off. Pratama found himself tumbling into a starfish-headstand worthy of the breakdancing Olympics.
McDonald, AKA ‘Mad Dog’, won the race with a lead of nearly ten seconds. Second place went to Lewis, while Rovelli claimed third.
Race Two:
Before the group left for their Warm Up Lap, Wyman was wheeled off the grid and to the pits, his Harley clearly having contracted some form of stage fright.
Would it be hard to believe that, throughout all seven laps of racing, not one bike went sightseeing?
There was some epic racing, wheelies, and lots of rear-end sliding though.
Fighting for another win, McDonald was slammed with a Long Lap Penalty on Lap Six for overstepping Track Limits.
McDonald never complied.
Across the line, Gutierrez claimed victory, McDonald followed in second, and Granado finished third.
Here’s where it got crazy. First, McDonald was demoted one position for his risky lunge-overtake into the final corner.
This meant the podium now looked a little different, Granado inheriting second while McDonald fell to third.
Soon after, however, he was handed a three-second time penalty for not visiting the Long Lap Loop. Luckily for McDonald, he was so far ahead of the next rider, this made no difference in the standings.
A moody-looking McDonald arrived at his Parc Fermé interview, and seemed to be oblivious about the Long Lap Penalty, as though he never saw it while still racing.
That was Texas, done and dusted. What do you think of the new Baggers Championship? We think they’re madmen, riding machines that are over two-hundred kilograms heavy around a track at Moto3 qualifying pace.
More, please.
~ Karr
