By Karrbon Copy.
Graveltraps whiter than the beaches in Maldivian brochures, Virgin tarmac as far as the MotoGP riders were concerned, and lots of vacation-worthy sunshine: we’re back in Hungary for the first time in over three decades!
Welcome, one and all, to Balaton Park. One of only six anti-clockwise tracks on the calendar. Though not everyone had a positive opinion on the narrow, chicane-ridden strip of track.
We quote, with permission, someone who has had at least some racing experience, and whom some of you might’ve heard of before, son of the legendary Simon Fourie, Donovan Fourie: ‘A short stump littered with stupid hairpins and chicanes.’
But was it entertaining? Oh, was it ever!
Moto3:
Uriarte was caught cruising on the racing line (again!) which resulted in him being sent to the back of the grid like a naughty ten-year-old.
We celebrated the two-hundred-and-fiftieth Moto3 race this weekend, and it’s safe to say it was celebrated in the best way possible: with a spectacular race filled with nail-biting overtakes and some battles worth recording in the history books.
But we’re getting ahead of ourselves.
By some small miracle, no catastrophic crashes occurred at the start of the opening lap. In fact, we saw over five laps of crash-free racing before the calamities commenced.
O’Shea was chased off the track by the Black Flag during Lap Five, presumably because of his bike leaking its fluids all over the place.
The All-Time Lap Record lasted until the end of Lap Five, where it was properly obliterated by multiple riders, of whom Quiles was the most rapid.
During the sixth lap, Ogden’s little green machine fainted mid-chicane, causing Yamanaka and Uriarte directly behind him to suffer Pucker-butt as they scrambled off into the gravel in an attempt to not run over either the bike or its orphaned rider, who were sliding across the track.
Much to Ogden’s relief, he was not left with tyre tracks over his suit, and he even remounted to continue the race.
There was a slight lull in the battling, which promptly vanished at about half race distance, from when the battle for the lead really picked up pace once again. Top notch racing!
On Lap Thirteen, Buchanan toppled over at Turn Five, but quickly remounted under foot-power. He looked just like we used to look atop our black plastic motorcycles.
Allegedly, Pini was trying to serve a Long Lap Penalty – of which there were less than expected – when he floundered and crashed at Turn Eleven.
Furusato’s seventeenth lap had barely started when he found himself with dust in his eyes and rocks in his teeth, having crashed out between Turns One and Two.
While hobbling away, Taiyo gestured at the track. At first, it was seen as an indication of frustration at someone else helping him off; but soon we noticed a few ‘Lack of Adhesion’ flags dancing about the first corner, and suddenly it all made more sense.
Why was adhesion lacking? We don’t know. But it was lacking right where Furusato tried to ride.
Two laps away from the end of the race, Ogden had his second helping of gravel goulash.
Allow us to dote on the final lap: the Final Lap of Final Laps, as far as the Moto3 season is concerned, occurred at Balaton Park when the War of the Rookies broke out between Quiles and Perrone.
There were overtakes that potentially gave both riders’ teams group-heart failures; there was enough bumping and bashing to qualify as a bumper car ride. Perrone got his elbows out – literally – when the Finish Line loomed up ahead, and Quiles pulled up beside him. More bashing, more contact, neither rider willing to just give the win to the other.
Instead, they crossed the line in a glorious photo-finish, from which Quiles emerged victorious. This left Perrone in second (still his best result in Moto3), while Muñoz fought his own battle into a close third.
Our young Moodley seemed to have had a struggle of a day, finishing in sixteenth.
Moto2:
Still recuperating from his injuries, Agius would not participate this weekend.
Apparently, the sight of Jack Appleyard trying to interview him, makes Dixon giggle like a drunk teenaged girl. (Maybe check what’s in his water bottle, ‘kay team?)
The Middleclass race opened with a first-corner game of motorcycle bowling, which sparked many theories – as it generally does – as to who deserved the most blame.
From what could be seen, Arenas had tried to bomb down the inside of Binder, Binder went sliding on his own, then a bunch of other riders fell over in sympathy.
While Arenas did not crash, there were four much less fortunate riders: Binder (obviously), Kunii, Vietti (his weekend was so crappy already, he was probably relieved to be going home early), and Orradre.
Guevara was apparently far too eager to get this race over with, what with his hand already so painful he could hardly get a glove over it, and subsequently received a Double Long Lap Penalty for jumping the gun.
Having served his penalties, Guevara retired to his pit box by the end of Lap Fifteen.
While leading the race, Moreira’s bike got a bit cheeky going through Turn Five for the eighth time, shaking its booty at those following it.
What a tease.
During Lap Twelve, López’s bike tossed him off at Turn Eight, then continued to chase the barrelling rider all the way to the wall, where López touched said wall while yelling ‘SAFE!’ – and his murderous motorcycle called off the game of death-tag.
Visorless and in obvious pain, López trudged off, favouring his left hand.
Quite a few riders were quietly given Long Lap Penalties throughout the race. We assume many were for shortcuts at the chicanes, and at least one or two for track limits. It was all kept very hush-hush.
Vietti retired to the pits by the end of Lap Seventeen.
González’s bike saw its rider was dozing off on the eighteenth lap, and promptly gave him the Wakey Wobble as he exited Turn Four.
Two laps short of the checkered flag, Sasaki went for a dirt bath.
We were spoiled with yet another final lap banger, as a three-way brawl commenced between Alonso, González, and Moreira. We were enthralled.
Alonso was all over González’s rear end, like that horny dog at your friend’s house and your leg. When he finally dove into the lead, it set González back all the way into third, and just to keep everyone on their toes, Alonso went and ran wide through the final chicane – how on earth did he manage to make the apex after that, you ask? Don’t ask us – we’re in awe, too.
Final chicane fumble and all, Alonso emerged victorious, becoming the first-ever Columbian to win a Moto2 race.
Moreira ended up second, and González third. All three were close enough across the finish line to reach out and hold hands.
González did seem slightly miffed over the contact with Moreira on their way to the line; rubbing is racing, Manu.
We would like to nominate David Alonso for Rider of the Day – and overall most adorably likeable rider. Not only did he do an awkward half-saddled dance upon arrival in Parc Fermé that made his CFMoto blush, but he came to his interview sucking on a lollipop like the happiest little kindergartener you’ve ever seen.
MotoGP:
Márquez Junior was caught dawdling in the fast lane during Practice, and was consequently slapped with a three-position grid penalty.
Sprint Race:
The first Hungarian Sprint Race went off in chaotic fashion, with Quartararo lunging into the first corner uncharacteristically desperate and sloppily, resulting in lots of contact – and some nail-splitting near-misses – as he overshot the turn entirely and ran into the rear of an unsuspecting Bastianini.
Bastianini’s rear wheel lifted up the Yamaha in a wrestling style move in order to toss it down onto the tarmac again. Miraculously, Bastia managed to save his KTM, and returned to the race without falling over, albeit far further back than he’d liked to have been.
Not far down the road, Bastianini found himself party to a second incident with a Frenchman, this time when he clattered into Zarco going through one of the chicanes.
Both Zarco and Bastianini ended up with faces full of gravel, while Rins had to take a gravelly detour to remain upright.
Peeking into our crystal ball, we foresee penalties for both Quartararo and Bastianini in the main race…
By the end of the third lap, Binder cruised into the pits with a heavily damaged front fairing, apparently having been caught up in the first-turn melee earlier. In what seemed like less than three blinks of an eye, Brad was back on track, with a brand-new fairing.
Acosta’s weekend kept going the wrong way when he, while feverishly trying to get past Martín, lost grip through Turn Eleven on the sixth lap. This saw Pedro sliding off into the litter, where he executed one of the fastest remounts we’ve ever witnessed, whereafter he dug a trench wider than the Grand Canyon in the graveltrap in his attempt to rejoin the race post-haste.
The only Long Lap Penalty – to our surprise – of the entire Sprint went the way of Rins, who was seen taking a shortcut through the final chicane.
Miles ahead of all the drama, Marc Márquez grabbed his seventh Sprint Race win in a row with ease; the Highlighter Squad blocked out the rest of the podium, with DiGi finishing second, and teammate Morbidelli grabbing third.
Binder, after his fairing-swap, finished dead-last in eighteenth. At the very least, it wasn’t a DNF, right?
Main Race:
As predicted, both Quartararo and Bastianini were handed Long Lap Penalties for their scrappy conduct during the Sprint; Fabio one, and Enea two.
DiGia Drama! Or so it was dubbed by the commentators.
On his Sighting Lap, Di Giannantonio looked visibly flustered, cruising around the circuit while looking all around him and his Ducati.
On the grid, he was sent to sit against the pit wall while Race Direction and his team had many a heavy chat.
Apparently, a warning light had come on on his dash, and they were trying to choose between swapping bikes on the grid, pre-Warm-Up, which would lead to a Double Long Lap Penalty, or leaving the decision to after the Warm-Up, in which case DiGi would have to start his race from pit lane, should he choose to change bikes.
In the end, the opted for the latter of these, and DiGi peeled into the pits after the Warm-Up Lap, hopped over to his at-the-ready second bike, and started his race not from the front row, but from the exit of pit lane.
Bastianini’s race went from ‘inconvenienced by penalties’ to ‘just plain buggered’ by the time he approached the first chicane. Entering the chicane, Bastia fell over, and went sliding through the corners, leg in the air, eyes fixed on the unavoidable intersection of him and the on-track traffic. Time must’ve gone into slow-mo for Enea at that stage; he was likely praying like he’d never done before that he wouldn’t end up being tenderised by a dozen tyres. Somehow, like a ghost, he and his motorcycle managed to pass through the wheel-to-wheel traffic without any contact whatsoever.
T’was a miracle!
A miffed Bastianini allegedly returned to the race, if only to serve his Long Lap Penalties, and later retired to the pits.
Márquez – the Álex variety – slipped off at Turn One after starting Lap Two, somehow remaining seated for ninety-eight percent of the trip. He quickly remounted, and returned to the action.
During the fourth lap, Fernández – Raúl – slid off into the gravel, closely followed by Mir in a completely separate, yet near-identical incident. There, in the graveltrap, they had a quick meeting before both remounting and cruising to the pits.
Two laps later, Miller toppled off at Turn One, though he jumped back into his seat with such aggression that the bike nearly folded in half.
For a little while, Bezzecchi seemed to be keeping things interesting while keeping Marc at bay. Alas, on the eleventh lap, Marc flew past Bez, whereafter he was not seen again until he materialised across the finish line.
Doing some impressive low-flying, Aldeguer overcooked it a tad as he dropped into Turn One for the fourteenth time, sending him sliding off, leg and butt pointing at the sky.
Luckily, he managed to remount, and continued racing.
There weren’t as many shortcut-penalties handed out in the main race, the most notable being Bagnaia around Lap Fifteen, and Aldeguer a few laps later.
Miller went skidding off the track for the second time on Lap Sixteen, creating a Sparky Award worthy streak of sparks with his left elbow as he left the track at Turn Eleven.
On approaching Turn Eight at full-tilt, while on the twenty-first lap, Zarco’s Honda called it quits, divorcing its rider before skipping across the gravel like a pebble across a clear lake. Johann followed closely behind, and judging by the awkward walk he did once he was on his feet again, it’d been a bruising rock-tumble experience.
With three laps remaining, Marini decided it was time to dive-bomb down the inside of Morbidelli; Morbidelli refused to relinquish his position, however, and in the process of trying to lean on Marini, he was forced into shortcutting the chicane.
This soon backfired on him, as he was ordered to drop a position for his corner-cutting shenanigans.
Three business days clear of anyone else, Márquez Senior claimed a casual seventh victory in a row.
Acosta, having ridden the wheels off his KTM, finished in second place, while Bezzecchi had to make do with third.
Binder had a decent race, ending up seventh across the line.
During his cooldown, Acosta sought out the cameraman his KTM had attempted to wipe from the planet the day before, and blew the man some acknowledging kisses. What a sweet little encounter.
