MotoGP Roundup – Lusail, Qatar

motul. motorcycle oil. oil. bikewise.

How things change!

The Lusail International Circuit is indeed a beautiful sight from far above. Some of what occurred during the races there this weekend, not so much. From slapfights to bar bashing, the weekend was hugely entertaining!

By The Karr report.

Moto3: Masia takes the gold.

Four riders started their race from the rear of the grid, with some additional penalties, due to their shenanigans during qualifying. They were: Farioli, Aji, Salvador, and Fellon.

MotoGP
Cool stoppie from Oncu.

Öncü was a little too eager to start racing; the Turk jumped the start so clearly that the slow-motion replays almost seemed unnecessary. This earned him a Double Long Lapper. But when has a penalty ever stopped Deniz from barging his way back up the order?

The shortest race award went to Whatley, who managed to crash on the opening lap.

A Farioli-shaped projectile went skimming across the pebbles at Turn Three during the fourth lap.

Poor Rueda’s recent run of the Unlucky continued when he got an Irresponsible Riding Double Long Lap Penalty.

On Lap Seven, Moreira was helped down by Ortolá, grinding his bike into dust over the fresh tarmac and thus earning him the Sparky Award. Ortolá, on the other hand, was given a Double Ticket for a trip through the Long Lap Loop.

Frankly, they could’ve shifted the entire race through the Long Lap Loop. It was seeing more action than the track itself.

Main Championship contender, Masiá, was slapped on the wrist with a stern Conduct Warning halfway through the race, after two failed attempts to send his main rival Sasaki into orbit. It was a tad messy, Jaume. Honestly.

Adding insult to injury, Sasaki suffered a near-orbit-launch on the final lap, somehow managing to land back in his seat, albeit a little squishier…

Masiá claimed the win, and with it the title of 2023 Moto3 World Champion. He cried so much he potentially solved a drought.

Alonso took second place, and Öncü third. In case you were wondering.

After getting a ‘1’ sticker poorly applied to the nose of his Leopard, and receiving a very nice, glittery gold helmet, the distraught Jaume almost ran over his crew in Parc Fermé. Slow TF down, Masiá.

Moto2: Aldegeur a class act.

Salač’s race ended before he could even sight it properly – technical troubles crippled his bike on the Sighting Lap, leaving Filipe stuck in his garage instead of in the action.

Apparently, Kelly fell out of the race at Turn Three, around Lap Five.

Roberts had a out-of-seat experience going through the first turn for the seventh time. Somehow, he managed not to fall off. 

Most impressive!

During the eighth lap, Tulovic fell off somewhere. Something similar happened to Nozane during Lap Twelve.

The highlight of the race was, however, Aldeguer’s Lessons in Overtaking, spurred on by a little blooper as he went into Turn One for the second time. This slip down the order gave Fermin the opportunity to showcase his ridiculous overtaking skills from ninth, all the way up into the lead. Once he was in front, he bolted like a mule who’d been hit with turpentine under its tail.

During the race, the Race Lap Record received less respect than an American public-school teacher. It was batted around like a cheap ping-pong ball to such an extent, a memorial service had to be arranged. 

There was nothing left of it to warrant an actual funeral.

In the closing stages of the race, the battle for second warmed up between Canet and González. It was a fight taken right up to the line. And it was glorious.

Aldeguer claimed his third victory on the trot, ages ahead of the warring duo behind. Nine thousandths of a second was the gap between González and Canet over the finish line, with González emerging the victor. Gonzalez could not stop smiling!

That earned Manuel his first-ever podium in Moto2 – and, with it, the first podium ever for his team – in a brilliant second place. Canet had to make do with third.

Some ways beyond the front-of-the-race melee, I-Feel-No-Pain Darryn came through to take fourteenth. One terrific feat, and no mistake!

Two dislocated fingers, with the bony bits sticking out and needing putting back, and a sprained ankle were no match for Darryn’s will to race.

 

Darryn Binder made a superhuman appearance.

No-one should be physically able to partake in a race one week after a crash like that. These guys are not human.

MotoGP
Di Giannantonio took the win. Amazing race! Unemployed next year?

MotoGP: The desert sands shifted.

Whoever ordered the Championship Chaos Conspiracy Creator, thank you. And up yours!

Right off the line Martín had a fluffy start – he looked more like a Mustang owner pulling out of a meet than a MotoGP rider setting off for a race.

We lost Lecuona to the Tech Gremlin squad on the first lap. A battered, broken, and penalised Aleix Espargaró retired by the end of Lap Six.

Bagnaia might have had the dream start to the race, leading for most of the twenty-two laps, but no amount of speculated ‘Team Orders’ was going to stop Di Giannantonio from claiming a brilliant first victory.

They said that the ‘Mapping 8’ message was simply to alert DiGi of the fact that there were five laps remaining. 

Do we believe them?

Whatever that message truly meant, Di Giannantonio blasted past Pecco on the nineteenth lap. Pecco tried hard to regain that lead, but after getting sucked into Fabio D’s slipstream and escaping from a catastrophic collision purely through intense praying, he settled into a comfortable second place.

MotoGP
Zero Traction on takeoff for the Martinator

We do not know what happened to Martín. What we do know is that the look he shot at his rear tyre after crossing the line nearly burnt two holes into it. At his pits, he just about managed to stop before running his crew member over, before stomping off while the doors blocked out everyone else. 

No post-race questions shall be answered there, unfortunately.

One very clever camera guy found Martín’s buttcam still on, much to the confusion of his crew, who hadn’t expected to see themselves on the screen. Boy, did they react poorly. Can’t hide from Dorna spies, fellas.

Martín had immediately disappeared, something that had been expected from the moment he went raging mid-race.

MotoGP
Italian Passion. Di Giannantonio.

Di Giannantonio, as a soon-to-be unemployed rider, took his first-ever MotoGP victory, well ahead of Bagnaia in second, and Marini joined them in third.

Finishing a hard-run race in fifth was our brilliant Brad Binder. He ran third for most of the race, but the podium eluded him…

Brad Binder
Binder. A brilliant race.

Another Championship wrapped up. One more to go. One final weekend of racing. 

It will be absolutely epic!

Remember to take extra heart medication, and a handful of Relicalm.

~ Karr

(My Patreon link. Just, you know, in case one might want to show some appreciation for the hours of toiling over a grubby keyboard: https://www.patreon.com/KarrbonCopy )

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