If you happened to read the feature on that Harley Davidson Road King Special earlier on, you’ll see that much debate was sparked as to what is an actual cruiser. Heres Donovan Fouries take on the matter. He didn’t even let the rest of us ride the Motorrad East Rand Trans Continental…
“Big wheels keep on turnin’”
This song is bordering on cliché, but nonetheless, when it blasts through any speakers, you sing loudly.
“Carry me home to see my kin”
We are cruising down the N14 between Pretoria and Rustenburg. It isn’t the dullest freeway on the planet but like most freeways, it has little in the way of entertainment.
“Singin’ songs about the Southland”
A long, dark grey strip of tar extends towards the horizon.
“I miss Alabamy once again, and I think it’s a sin, I said”
Nonetheless, the speakers are blaring loudly, I’m comfortable even in the chilly drizzle, and the radar-guided cruise control is keeping me clear of other vehicles as I take a deep breath to blast out the chorus.
“Sweet home Alabama, Where the skies are so blue, Sweet home Alabama, Lord, I’m comin’ home to you”
This is the Transcontinental, the touring version of BMW’s Marmite R18. More so, it’s a two-year-old bike from the BMW East Rand showroom. Not that you could tell because the damn thing looks and feels brand new.
The job of the Transcontinental is to make roads like the N14 more tolerable. Possibly even fun.
It has your typical BMW TFT screen with your typical BMW controls that, if you know how they work, work well. Most notable is the Bluetooth connectivity to your phone that will allow you to navigate, take phone calls and play music through the giant speaker system.
“Sweet home Alabama…”
People lament this sort of thing on motorcycles like it’s somehow impure to have creature comforts during your two-wheeled endeavours. These people think it’s all about being rock-hard as well as hardcore. To face the elements and overcome them.
We appreciate these purists. We admire them. We may even applaud them as they make their way back to their comfortless steed, arthritically climb aboard and then brace their shoulders for another couple of hours of torture.
We keep appreciating these brave souls as we adjust our heated seats, set up the navigation and let the tunes roll.
“Where the skies are so blue”
Beyond a sound system and fancy electronics, the Trans features panniers and a top box with enough luggage space to move at least one enemy’s dead body cut up into pieces.
That’s handy.
The footpegs are replaced by floorboards and the gear lever is a double lever system whereby you push down with your toes to change down and push down with your heel to change up. It’s a system that worked for decades right up until people just stopped doing that for some reason. The floorboards mean your feet get more room to move should your leg muscles start moaning.
Those are all the add-ons that make this bike a Transcontinental. Underneath the hood, you have an R18, BMW’s bold attempt at grabbing some of that home-grown American cruiser pie.
Earlier in the story we called the R18 Marmite, because that’s the response we’ve seen – people either utterly love it or cannot stand it.
As far as being like an American cruiser, BMW has nailed it. American cruiser enthusiasts will now be sharpening their pitchforks and gathering a mob just for me even uttering those words, but it’s true.
Famously, the R18 features an 1802cc, air-cooled, boxer twin with two almighty cylinders protruding out of each side of the motor.
When the massive engine fires up, the whole motorcycle shudders. When the motor idles, the whole motorcycle rocks like some ancient fire demon stirring from its slumber.
A huge element of American cruisers is the ability to feel alive. To stir emotions. To connect with you. The R18 does that in bucket loads. The only way this motorcycle could be more alive is if it stood up, doffed its hat and said: “How do you do?”
The numbers back up this claim – 90 hp which is fine for a machine of this type but it’s the 158Nm of torque that really speaks volumes. Literally.
And everything is wrapped up in a classy packaging with some chrome, some matt and some paintwork.
Of course, nothing is ever quite perfect. All of this ornate glory comes at a cost, not just to your wallet but to gravity too.
With petrol, oil and whatever other fluids vital to this motorcycle’s survival on board, it weighs 427kg.
You can tell it weighs that much partially by the way the tides change when it rides past any body of water, partially by the small stones that start orbiting it as they come into contact with its immense gravity field but also by the hernia we endured every time the photographer told us “move it a little more to the left”.
Luckily this machine has a reverse gear otherwise you might never be able to move it out of your garage once it’s parked.
Once you’re on the move, thankfully that weight sits close to the ground and the bike is joyously well-balanced, so it converts to luxury. Just don’t try too many daring moves in hairpin bends and rather stay very still when stopped at traffic lights.
Otherwise, the ocean liner of the motorcycle world is as glorious as the ocean liners of the sea. Enjoy those long roads that everyone else finds so boring.
“Lord, I’m comin’ home to you”
