MotoGP Roundup – Catalunya, Spain.

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Montmeló gave fans and racers a balmy, wind- and cloud free weekend for the Catalan GP. 

It was a beautiful weekend, both on the track and off.


Yet another weekend packed to the rafters in nail-obliterating entertainment. At this rate, we’ll all suffer heart failure before the mid-season break!

By: Karien Pretorius.

Race One:

Race One certainly didn’t lack entertainment. If you could predict the race winner before the start, and get it right, well done! You’re a psychic.

Spinelli lasted exactly one lap, falling on the very last turn of Lap One. There he used his chest and arms as a plough. This was not a very good idea, as Nicolas soon found out.

On Lap Three, Tulovic’s bike abandoned him flat on his stomach, on the hard shoulder, in order to pursue a sexy little electric scooter that’d flashed her light at it.

Turn Ten tripped both Mantovani and Davies in short succession during Lap Five.

Moto E

Rider of the Day had to be Gutierrez, what with winning his first MotoE race, in front of his home crowd, in his rookie year, and breaking the All-Time Lap Record in the process. Well done!

Granado made sure Gutierrez remained honest by nipping at his rear wheel all the way to the finish, taking a well-needed second place. Zannoni claimed third.

Honourable mention goes to Gutierrez’s mechanics for defying gravity in their effort to hang as far over the pit wall as possible. The one was so far out over the track, he could’ve grabbed a lift from Gutierrez as he went by.

Race Two:

Saturday afternoon certainly wasn’t a time to be a race leader, or a Championship contender fighting for the lead, for that matter.

Casadei was the first to fall; one moment he was sniffing Granado’s rear, the next he was sniffing the tarmac through Turn Ten.

Next up was Spinelli, who went off at the fifth turn in a cloud of dust.

On Lap Five, Granado tumbled from the lead, his bike giving him a helicopter-chop to the head before crunching to a halt in Turn Five’s kitty litter. Thankfully Eric was up and powerlifting his bike moments after it tried to slap his head from his shoulders.

With three of the top Championship contenders out of the race entirely, the fight for the lead became even spicier. Zannoni came out on top, winning his first-ever MotoE race. Gutierrez narrowly missed out, having to take second place as consolation. Zaccone rounded off the podium.



A few riders lined up on the grid already a Long Lap richer than the rest – Buasri, Muñoz, and Fernández all had one Long Lap to complete, while Furusato was so lucky that he got two.

Almansa crashed at Turn Five during Lap Four, but quickly rejoined the race.

On Lap Six, Furusato decided to redeem his Long Lap ticket, and found a BOE motorcycle just casually crossing the lane ahead of him halfway through. Turns out Kelso had slipped at Turn Two, his bike opting to leave the track without him….

Fortunately, it gave Furusato plenty of space to avoid catapulting over it.

A few more Long Lappers were dished out throughout the race. Rossi got such a fright from receiving his that he promptly crashed out at Turn Thirteen, Lap Six.

Suzuki had to do his shortcut-induced Long Lap over, since he didn’t serve it correctly the first time. Apparently, he has trouble staying inside the lines.

After a fantastic show of a race, Alonso claimed yet another race win, fending off Ortolá who had to take second; Rueda claimed third after a late stampede up through the field.


Qualifying on Saturday might’ve been as exciting as a bowl of overcooked ramen, but Sunday’s race was spicier than a Durban curry.

González was punted three spots down the grid for being in other peoples’ way in Quali.

Just about the entire grid ended up with a Long Lap Penalty at some stage throughout the race. It’d probably be quicker if we mentioned the ones without any penalties and/or Track Limits warnings.

The race started off on a chaotic note when Roberts punted the wheels out from under Guevara at the first turn.

Guevara’s stricken motorcycle felt the need for a companion on its trip, and thusly took Chantra’s bike along for the ride.

A whole three turns further, Sasaki suffered a rapid get-off, whereafter he had a very slow get-up before walking away (mostly) unscathed.

During Lap Two, both Moreira and Muñoz suffered the invisible boot of Turn Ten. 

Side note: This is still not THAT Muñoz, but a completely unrelated one who happens to have the same initial.

Turn Ten claimed another victim on Lap Four, in the form of González. Manuel managed to get to the pits, had a few tinkerings done, and went back out three laps later. Just in case calamity hit half of the remaining riders. You never know.

Things quieted down for a few laps, the odd overtake the only thing keeping us engaged. 

By Lap Thirteen, Turn Ten decided it was feeling peckish again. This time it was Vietti’s turn; dropping off his falling bike mid-turn, it’s a mystery how Vietti didn’t end up under Dixon’s wheels who’d been following very closely behind.

Aldeguer was leading the race in style, fending off the pressure from behind while not crashing (at Turn Ten especially).

Tragedy struck during the fourteenth lap when Fermín was slapped with a Long Lap Penalty.

It got worse. He opted for the ‘get it over and done with’ approach, and peeled off towards the Long Lap entrance at the start of the next lap…

Then, something strange happened. 

The now-ex-race leader had barely crossed over into Long Lap territory when he lost it, fell over, and ended up in the gravel. Everyone was flabbergasted. He tried to pick up his bike to return to the race but, alas, his race was over. 

And with that, Aldeguer earned his first DNF for the season.

Also on Lap Fifteen, Canet leaned a tad too far into Turn Five, but remained one-hundred-percent in the seat and in race position until he touched grass, and soon after got mashed into the gravel beyond. He looked so certain that he’d be coming out of that lean…


Ogura, having taken the lead, soon pulled a gap on his teammate which nobody could overcome. With that said, the gap behind García was even bigger, so truth be told, they had the top spots all to themselves for those final few laps.

And so, Ogura bagged his first win since Japan 2022, García took a comfortable second, and Dixon somehow ended up third.

Darryn managed a crash- and penalty-less fifteenth. He was one of very few who did not  have to take on that Long Lap Loop. He was then pushed up to 14th place.



Saturday Sprint Race:

Allow us a moment to appreciate Aleix’s magnificent Chrome Dome – of course we’re talking about his special home-race helmet. What else?

What did Brad do to his hair? (Eds note: Remember this is a lady who writes the GP stuff, manly men wouldn’t even notice!)

Did he… shave it…? 

It’s hard to tell with that cap perma-glued to his head, really.

Speaking of Brad: Due to Raúl’s one cancelled Quali time being reinstated, Binder was bumped off the front row into fourth.

At the start of the race, some of Márquez’s (Senior) aero took off after a nudge between him and Miller.

Everyone was rooting for Raúl; at least we know we were. He’s been blindingly fast this entire weekend, and even managed to pull out an early lead in the Sprint.

But then, on Lap Five, disaster struck the fiery Fernández when he slid off at Turn Ten, out of a rather comfy lead. He didn’t try to hide his self-disappointment, crouching in the kitty litter in a sobbing ball. By the time he’d made his way to his box, the team undoubtedly had a box of tissues and a massive bowl of ice-cream at the ready.

Moto GP
look carefully in the background...

Morbidelli was hit with the classic Irresponsible Riding Long Lap Penalty.

After Raúl’s crash, Binder took the lead, and was looking solid as a meteorite heading for that victory – until he too, fell from the lead on the seventh lap, his KTM doing a perfect barrel roll through Turn Five’s gravel pit…

Zarco’s luck continued in the downward direction, with the Frenchman yet again crashing, on Lap Eight after Márquez (Junior this time) ran into his too-slow-moving ass at Turn Twelve. Luckily the young Márquez did not follow him into the dirt.

Sometime during Lap Ten, Oliveira left us for pastures gravellier.

With both Raúl and Brad crashing out of the lead earlier, Bagnaia found himself at the front, right up to the final lap. 


Guess what? 

Things happen in threes, as they say: Pecco became a Big Cloud of Dust next to Turn Five, making it three-for-three and essentially gifting Aleix the Glimmering a home victory.

Something smells fishy.



Aleix took the win, while Márquez (Senior again) claimed second place, and Acosta got a third-place podium finish in as a birthday gift. 

Happy birthday, Pedro!

Someone check Acosta’s ID. There’s no way that kid is twenty years old.

Main Race:

The main event didn’t let the Sprint overshadow it.

Miller was the first victim of the by now notorious Turn Ten, crashing out as early as the third lap. Some people like to blame marriage for performance drops.

I blame beard-shaving. 

By Lap Six, Fernández – Augusto the Misfortunate – also succumbed to Turn Ten’s siren call.

But Turn Ten wasn’t content with just the lesser-featured riders. Oh no. It wanted some Topside steak, and it got it when Acosta plonked down while harassing Martín for the lead during Lap Eleven. 

Somehow this youngster managed to remount, rejoin, overtake riders still – and finish within the points positions.

Miller in the kitty litter

Bastianini was handed a Long Lap Penalty for shortcutting Turn Two.

While fighting for position, Viñales’ Aprilia started wagging its tail, forcing Top Gun to stand up in his attempt to not fall down. Twice. How he saved it without even losing much ground, we doubt even he knows.


Er, Bastia, you have a Long Lap to do…

Bastianini’s Long Lap Penalty later gained a friend due to him not serving it. That’s TWO Long Laps now, Enea. (Surely he would serve them pronto? Surely?)


During the eighteenth lap, Turn Ten continued its murderous streak by tripping up Morbidelli.

Finally, having failed to take his penalties, Bastianini was given a Ride-Through Penalty. Something he never managed to comply with, either. 

It was bizarre! Was his dash malfunctioning? Or should he look into getting some glasses, perhaps? 

Oh dear!

Moto GP Catlunya
Pecco found his Mojo...

Back at the front of the race, Bagnaia had somehow divebombed his way past Martín, and managed to not crash at Catalunya. That meant the victory was his, and Martín took second place. Behind them, Márquez Senior defended third from a very persistent Espargaró Senior.


After encountering some struggles early in the race, Brad managed to hold on to eighth.

Post-race, Marc hopped on the air fence in front of his fan club, and proceeded to bust out some moooves. Were we the only ones seeing him fall over? Thankfully, he didn’t crash off…

Until next time…

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